Race #98 – Tour de Elvis – Albemarle, NC – 08/13/10

Elvis Presley cor 04photo © 2010 Luiz Fernando Reis | more info (via: Wylio)

If you have a sneaking SUSPICION that I’m going to the TROUBLE of trying to fit in all of the Elvis song titles into this post that I can think of, forget it. First of all, it’s way TOO MUCH work. IT HURTS ME that some people have such SUSPICIOUS MINDS, but THAT’S ALL RIGHT.
Early in the day I told Linda we would need to leave in plenty of time for the race since it was WAY DOWN in Albemarle, and she said, “If you LOVE ME you’ll let me take a nap before we leave. I said to her, “This is ONE NIGHT race I don’t want to miss. RECONSIDER BABY. You can always take a nap tomorrow.” So she said to me, “TOMORROW IS A LONG TIME, and I JUST CAN’T HELP BELIEVING that if I get a nap I won’t be ALL SHOOK UP during the race and I’ll be able to run better and maybe not take any walk breaks. I told her not to worry about it because “plenty of people walk, so YOU’LL NEVER WALK ALONE.”
I decided since I have such a BURNING LOVE for her she could go ahead and take her nap. I learned long ago to treat the women in my life with respect. When I was young and we lived IN THE GHETTO I got a little frisky with THE GIRL OF MY BEST FRIEND (or maybe it was hisLITTLE SISTER). It’s hard to explain, but A FOOL SUCH AS I has certain things that are ALWAYS ON MY MIND. Now even though I don’t remember if she was HIS LATEST FLAME or his sister, we called her POLK SALAD ANNIE, and THAT’S SOMEONE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET. One day when my friend wasn’t around I said to Annie, “BABY, LET’S PLAY HOUSE,” if you know what I mean. Well, one thing led to another and next thing I knew people were treating me worse than aHOUND DOG. I was in A MESS OF BLUES for sure, but I guess I’m just one of those guys whoCAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE. Lucky for me I didn’t end up in the JAILHOUSE. ROCKy, who had been a really good friend up to that point, never forgave me, even though I tried to change and told him, “Rocky, I’m DOING THE BEST I CAN.”
But I digress. Where were we? Oh yeah, so I let Linda take a nap. No biggy. I’m somewhat of aGUITAR MAN so I picked my axe and picked a few tunes until it was time to leave. I yelled into the bedroom, “IT’S NOW OR NEVER,” and as usual, got no response. Again I yelled, “ANY DAY NOW,” trying not to sound overly sarcastic. One more time I tried: “I’M LEAVIN’!’” She whimpered back, “DON’T BE CRUEL,” and old romantic that I am, decided on a different approach. “Did you know there’s going to be a BLUE MOON tonight? Let’s go and enjoy it together.” I was lying of course, but finally she stumbled out of bed. Frugal people that we are, we decided to drive the Honda Fit instead of our LONG BLACK LIMOUSINE, and headed over to Albemarle.
The race was classic Vac & Dash (that’s a good thing). It was a less-than-stellar performance for me, finishing at 22:25, but it was a hot night (there’s my excuse) and there were a couple of cross country high school teams with 10 or 12 runners each who were there to demoralize most of us 58-year-olds. There was Elvis music a’plenty and lots of good food afterwards including peanut butter and banana sandwiches (Elvis’ favorite), jelly donuts, pizza, and lots of other good stuff in addition to the healthy fare, which of course I didn’t touch.
Race Rating:
8 – 1-10 Website (Information, results, registration, photo links, etc.)
7 – 1-10 Awards (Quality of medals, trophies, etc.) (1 to 10)
8 – 1-10 Awards Presentation (PA system, winning times, etc.) (1 to 10)
9 – 1-10 Food for Race Participants (1 to 10)
7 – 1-10 T-Shirts (1 to 10 with 5 being average)
4 – 4/6 Part of Race Series (Grand Prix, etc.) (6=Yes and 4=No)
0 – 0/5 Professional Photography (5=Yes and 0=No)
4 – 4/6 Chip Timing (6=Yes and 4=No)
3 – 3/7 Certified Course (by USA Track & Field) (7=Yes and 3=No)
7 – 1-10 Course (1 to 10 with 5 being average)
8 – 1-10 Parking (1 to 10 with 5 being average)
8 – 1-10 Entertainment (1 to 10 with 5 being average)
10 – 0-10 Age Groups (10 if 5-year groups; 0 if 10-year groups)
0 – 0/5 Indoor Shelter from Elements (0 if none; 5 if provided)
8 – 1-10 Bathroom Facilities
0-10 Other
TOTAL – 91
My Stats:
Time: 22:25
Pace: 7:13
Age Group: 1 of 5
Overall: 42 of 196
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